
Beginning to hate life...
Every step taken is every step of misery...
Just don't understand if one has already lose the motive of living,
what is the purpose of walking on the same road as everyone else?
The urge to stop are forever interrupted by repeated pushes from people,
this kind of life is miserable...
I'm runnning through depression stage again...
I don't know when will it be the last time i will write again...
I don't know when will i choose to close my eyes and never wake up again...
I don't know when will there be an excuse for me to go...
Go to a faraway land and never return...
I'm very selfish...
I didn't think about anyone else feeling on the fact that I'm seriously fed up with life...
Really, I seriously hope every night that i just close my eyes to sleep,
and I just don't wake up anymore...
I don't know what I can leave for my parents...
Which is why I save n save...
just in case one day I really want to go,
there is something for them...
I know that is not enough,
but it's the best I can do...
I'm not a competent man...
I do not have the mindset and vision of a great man...
I've always wanted to lead a simple life,
but this simplicity is boring...
Yes...the feeling of inferiority has started to sink into my heart,
but it isn't something I can control...
When it comes,
it just comes...
Sometime I really hate hearing from people words of encouragement...
I don't like to lie to people,
but sometime I have to do so,
so that people will leave me alone...
I'm just so SICK OF EVERYTHING!!!
Pathetic, am i?
Do anyone out there still think I'm a good teacher?
Do anyone out there still think I'm hopeful?
Guess no one at all...
And please,
don't come along telling me how much you sympathize or how much you care...
Because I don't think I like to hear it anymore,
and its better you keep everything to yourself,
don't waste anymore effort on me le...
I'm as stupid as you can imagine...
I don't treasure life as anyone does...
I do admit I'm afraid of death too,
but if I have to face it to relieve myself from any pain,
I think I will just have to do it...
I don't know when it will be...
However,
I guess I'm still hanging till I cannot take it anymore......